In the summer of 2011 my boss, a lively, big-hearted woman transplanted from Georgia, handed me a copy of this poem. I don't recall the context in which that occurred, but it seemed quite random. I read it, and again, and thanked her for it. Days later, my wife left me for the woman she was seeing. When I read this poem again, I wept (which I suppose I was doing a lot of anyway, but no matter). Since then I have often returned to it in times of difficulty, uncertainty, or conflict. But especially in sorrow.
The poem is called Kindness. The author is Naomi Shihab Nye.
[Update: For copyright purposes, I am substituting a link for a reprinting of the poem. I do hope you'll follow it.]
Kindness (http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2007/07/23)
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Monday, March 23, 2015
Dusting Off the Old Brain
My dear friend Nick McAvoy has, from time to time, used the charmingly grotesque imagery of "dusting off the old brain" to describe points of personal transition that awakened new or long disused channels and degrees of intellectual engagement. I have begun to feel in the last few months that I may be coming upon one of those periods of renewal after a long and fitful slumber.
I like to fancy that I do have, at least on some occasions, the energy and focus required to think well upon a subject. Yet there is a limit, imposed by the sheer physicality and temporality of life. For several years my energies had been absorbed almost entirely into the work product of the law firm where I spent my days, nights and Saturdays (rarely Sundays, however, and delightfully not; on which, perhaps more later). During this period, serious study and reflection were difficult in any area, because the time not spent in productive employment was either used in vain or vainglorious efforts at recovery, or in the practical busywork of maintaining my small household. Before the firm, law school had a similar effect of crowding out other areas of study and reflection that would have yielded more satisfactory results. Just as early monasticism kept a sliver of ancient scholarship alive through the dark ages, so for me church and music have been continuous backstops against the total loss of intellectual engagement. But it has been at a low ebb.
The limiting reagent was time, but as I began to wind down my law firm job, available time quickly multiplied, and the buffer of renewed exercise could no longer consume it. I started with a history podcast from Dan Carlin's Hardcore History series called 'The Wrath of the Khans." Hearing of a time and place and people far from me, in addition to being absolutely fascinating in its own right, helped to take me regularly once again out of my routines of middle class subsistence and forced me to think about the world at large. This blossomed into further pursuits of history and philosophy, and I feel that I am only just beginning to recover my faculties. I look forward to giving my curiosity increasing time to roam in the future.
My hope is that I may leave some record here, if not of understanding, then at least of curiosity and exploration. I bequeathed myself a few old posts from 2012; great empty hulls that never made it out of dry dock, but I may soon attempt to bring them to completion. (One of these is an amusing missive, likely inappropriate post-Crimea, to Russian readers, who, to my surprise, I found to be surprisingly common among those who stumble upon this blog.) In general, though, I will likely stick with shorter posts about whatever happens to intrigue me at the moment, from a deliberately limited perspective. Rather than making an illusory assay at fairness or comprehensive coverage, I'll content myself to a pointed thought or two at a time, and perhaps something larger will emerge from the pattern. Or perhaps not. Either way, I am excited to be writing something other than a mortgage again.
I like to fancy that I do have, at least on some occasions, the energy and focus required to think well upon a subject. Yet there is a limit, imposed by the sheer physicality and temporality of life. For several years my energies had been absorbed almost entirely into the work product of the law firm where I spent my days, nights and Saturdays (rarely Sundays, however, and delightfully not; on which, perhaps more later). During this period, serious study and reflection were difficult in any area, because the time not spent in productive employment was either used in vain or vainglorious efforts at recovery, or in the practical busywork of maintaining my small household. Before the firm, law school had a similar effect of crowding out other areas of study and reflection that would have yielded more satisfactory results. Just as early monasticism kept a sliver of ancient scholarship alive through the dark ages, so for me church and music have been continuous backstops against the total loss of intellectual engagement. But it has been at a low ebb.
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| The horde of Ghengis Khan approaches! |
My hope is that I may leave some record here, if not of understanding, then at least of curiosity and exploration. I bequeathed myself a few old posts from 2012; great empty hulls that never made it out of dry dock, but I may soon attempt to bring them to completion. (One of these is an amusing missive, likely inappropriate post-Crimea, to Russian readers, who, to my surprise, I found to be surprisingly common among those who stumble upon this blog.) In general, though, I will likely stick with shorter posts about whatever happens to intrigue me at the moment, from a deliberately limited perspective. Rather than making an illusory assay at fairness or comprehensive coverage, I'll content myself to a pointed thought or two at a time, and perhaps something larger will emerge from the pattern. Or perhaps not. Either way, I am excited to be writing something other than a mortgage again.
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